Navy Change of Command | USS Hamilton
“I’m so sorry, and I will never do that again.”
I’ve been to a lot of military ceremonies, between photographing them and being a military spouse. But I’ve never heard the honoree apologize to their family for putting their career first.
Laura and I connected nearly a year ago about this change of command that was supposed to be in November, then postponed indefinitely, then finally happened in February. We talked a lot in that year so I was clued in to just how difficult the past few years had been. In August 2020 while stationed on the east coast, her husband Jake flew to a San Diego-based ship headed for the Middle East to take over as second in command, leaving her to PCS across the country with their four school-aged kids solo. Due to a number of unforeseen circumstances, he was the XO for nearly two years then fleeted up and spent just as long as the ship’s commanding officer, a length of time unheard of in Navy circles. That came with multiple deployments and plenty of underways.
Suffice it to say, it’s been a tough few years.
They’ve forged an incredible community here in San Diego through youth sports and their military family. With rain coming and going, every chair in the pierside tent for this ceremony was taken.
And every sailor, Marine and civilian heard Jake apologize to his family for putting his career first, and his vow to never do that again.
Jake was asked to join the ship he was about to command early, leaving his family in Maryland behind to PCS alone, which he chose, knowing it’d be better for his career, for the sake of his future sailors, those he’d eventually command. But he also knew it’d come at a price.
When he looked directly at his family, his voice strained, and apologized to them, you could hear a pin drop.
I thought about how powerful that was for the junior sailors in the tent to hear, to listen to someone in command who they hold in high esteem empathize with the strain he’d put his family under. Hearing that level of emotional intelligence felt so rare; I had chills.
Military life is a true rollercoaster and the best we can do is buckle our seatbelts and hold on, recognizing that this stuff is really hard on everyone. I’m grateful to have heard this powerful display of empathy, this reminder that it’s hard for everyone.
Contact me now to capture your family on that roller coaster.
